Almost done.

I have my last final presentation to give this afternoon then this quarter is over! phew! Have I told that this has been the most intense quarter of my life? Because it has been. I think it was just everything, moving to a totally new place and starting a new school with people I don't know and living alone and figuring out new professors and navigating this area we call sustainability. I have never been this exhausted or brain dead at the end a quarter before! I literally can't even think anymore, it's amazing I've made it through this week at all. I'm so excited to be home for six weeks and to have a break! Next quarter is going to be crazy too, I'll have three classes two of which will be huge projects the entire quarter. One class is for fun though, it's a documentary photography class, I'm looking forward to that! A girl from my program decided to take it too, so I'll have a buddy which will be nice!

I can't wait to get home tomorrow night! And its supposed to snow this weekend! I think I'm the only person in Washington who absolutely loves the snow!!!! Everyone else complains and complains but I can't get enough! Its so pretty and fun to play in and I love being cold, I'd much rather have to bundle up than have to sit sweating in shorts and a tank top! I think its because I'm a January baby, its my nature to love Winter!!! I'm so sick of this 70 degree weather here, and people complaining that its cold when it gets into the 60's. Warm weather people are such pansies! It's November, it should be cold! Anyway. Well I need to go buy tape for finish up my project for this afternoon.

Happy Thursday!

le sigh.

So I never heard from the my school today about my request to cancel my housing. I decided that even if they said yes and let me know tomorrow it's just too rushed and I'm just too tired and stressed to be able to move in a day and half. So I emailed the school tonight and said forget it, you didn't get back to me in time and I leave in two days to go home for break so I need to just keep my current apartment. Thanks a lot school. Now I need to call the nice couple with the apartment tomorrow and say sorry it won't work. boo. But my mom and I were talking and she said maybe in January I can put in my request again and see if the apartment is still vacant and move then. It'd be better timing and I'd have my next loan check so would actually have money to move unlike now. So I will. I'm just bummed because I thought for sure it'd all work out this week. But I always live in a happy dream land where everything happy and right happens...real life kinda sucks...a lot...anyway off to try and get my presentation for my materials class done and then to eat ice cream and to write a note for my roommates asking them to make sure they clean up before they leave (I really don't want to come back to a bug invasion in January)!

oh a good thing today...

I finished one class! Well not technically, I still have to go Wednesday to hear the other four presentations, but I gave mine today and got nothing but good feedback on it! Hooray! One class down, one to go. This has been most intense quarter of school in my life, I am very ready for it to be over and to veg at home for a while. I've had a constant headache for the past two weeks, yeah, awesome. And I barely sleep anymore, speaking of which I've like become this morning person, I don't know what happened but i'm up at 8 everyday and I'm like usually pretty awake! I used to hate mornings...still not my favorite, but I don't mind them so much anymore, and I get so much done when I'm awake early! Amazing. Not that I haven't had my times of having to be up super early for work...5 am wake up call everyday for a year when I lived in LA...yeah that sucked a lot. But anyway...where was I....oh yeah class...yeah I'm done with one, yay! Now I need to finish (and by finish I mean start) my final presentation for Thursday...oops. But no one else has started theirs yet either so thats good. Ok shutting up now. bye.

And the saga continues...

So I went into the campus housing office this morning to say I would like to cancel and the lady at the front desk, though very sweet, made it sound like a lost cause saying I signed up for it for a year blah blah blah. I said yeah but I can't afford it now, I really need to find cheaper housing. So I filled out the form and sent them my official request of cancellation letter. And said I NEED TO KNOW NOW!!! Well they're all oh well it takes a week normally for the request to go through, I said not good enough, I leave Friday to go home for the Holidays, I need to know today or tomorrow so I have time to move out before Friday when our stupid apartments close! And they were all oh well we'll do our best. Not good enough, I mean really how hard is it to say yes or no your campus housing is cancelled. and really if it's that big of a deal just charge people a housing cancellation fee so you get your dear money. ugh.

Also, is it just the two graduate schools I've been to or do all schools treat grad students like crap? My undergrad college was amazing!!! They were so nice and helpful, but these last two schools are not helpful AT ALL and just don't want to work with the students! I'm so tired of it! I'm paying you a ridiculous amount of money a year, you work for me so be nice! humph.

Anyway hopefully I'll hear tomorrow from housing and then I'll be able to move! The couple was so nice today, I called and said haven't heard yet do you want me to run over a check to hold the apartment and they were all oh no that's not necessary just let us know when you hear. I really hope this works out because they seem like they'd be great landlords! Anyway, just needed write out my frustrations. hope you're monday is going well!

I found it!

So today I found an amazing apartment! Its a carriage house behind a larger house and it's just a few blocks from where I live now! The couple who owns it is super nice and they totally renovated the place just a month ago and it's never been lived in. Oh you guys it's perfect! But of course the housing office for campus apartments isn't open on weekends so I have to go in super early Monday morning before my class (which I have to give my final in too) and ask to cancel my housing for next quarter. I'm praying hard this weekend that the office will be gracious and just let me cancel without making a fuss. I need to move this week before I go home for break on Friday!!! I'm so anxious about Monday! I'm gonna go crazy tonight and tomorrow! oh and I would have an off street parking spot all to myself so I wouldn't have to pay for parking over break!!!!! GAHHHH!!!! I just really can't come back to this apartment, I can't stand it. So prayers that the school will cancel my housing for the rest of year would be much appreciated! Well anyway, that's all. Hope you have a nice weekend, and that its not as stressful as mine!

If it's not one thing it's another...

I don't know why I do these things to myself. As most of you know I hate where I live right now. My roommates are just messy and never clean up after themselves leaving me the one who has to clean up after four people, and I just don't feel comfortable in my own place! And I can't have a cat and I need a cat, seriously, I've never lived without kitties before. So I was talking to my mom today, and we were talking about my apartment and earlier this week I had said I wish I could just move out now but I don't have furniture. She was like well you can always get cheap things from Goodwill so why don't you just look and see what you can find. So I am. I started looking today to find a good one bedroom. The one place I really wanted, and that's been listed for a few months (yes I've craigslist dreaming since I got here) of course just was rented today...of course. But I have few other options I'm waiting to hear back from this weekend. We'll see what happens. It'd be nice to only have myself to live with and to find somewhere cheaper than school housing! Oh and this all has to happen in a week. I leave on Friday to go home until January...oi vay.

winter breakitis

I feel like I have senioritis! Its worse than senioritis! I wasn't this bad before being done with four years of college and this is only winter break! I'm seriously going crazy though, I can't think about anything else but getting out of here and being home for 6 weeks! Ok one week to go. I can do this. I think. Maybe. I might just fly home tonight I'm so anxious to get home!!!!! Ok no I won't, I have presentations to give next week and A's to get, darn.

Australia

Have I ever told you I almost moved to Sydney for two years for grad school? I was in Sydney and had an apartment and everything...but one thing led to another and I left after three weeks. The school was not the right fit for me and there were other reasons that are personal that I won't get into (I don't talk much about it because I know no one but my family can truly understand my decision). I was lucky that my mom and brother went a long with me, dad had to stay home and work...someone has to I guess. So the day I made the decision I wasn't staying they helped me pack up my apartment (it was a studio) in an hour flat and we got a hotel room for our last four days in the city. The decision to leave was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, actually it was probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I felt like a failure. But i've never once regretted it. Ever. I would have been miserable there and probably would have gotten super depressed and being so far away from everything I know would have made it worse.

But now whenever I see Australia commercials, you know the "come to our country we're awesome" commercials, I want to go back! It LOVED Sydney and the people are awesome! I want be able to see more of the country and go to Steve Irwin's zoo (I know I know). Its my goal to one day go back, I want to take a whole month, or more, and travel as much of the country as I can. And I won't rule out the possibility of moving there again (I won't rule out the possibility of moving anywhere in the world), who knows where this degree I'm doing can take me!

The three weeks I spent there were some of the worst and best of my life. Now when I have a challenge in front of me that seems impossible I'm not scared because I know I'll be ok no matter the outcome. The time in Australia taught me a lot about myself and how strong I am and to listen to myself.

This was a random post, I was just thinking about it today. Anyway, thats all. Happy Tuesday!

check out.

I'm really trying hard not to check out this week. Its our last week of classes before final presentations, and oh boy am I so done. But I can't be. I have to get a presentation ready for next Monday and then for next Thursday. Luckily I don't think either will be too hard to get together but I'm just so unmotivated! oi vay. This week should go fast though and hopefully next week will too! I leave on Friday the 19th and am counting down the days and hours and minutes! I don't think I've ever had such an intense quarter of school. And I've really had to break out of my shell since moving here which is hard for anyone, so I'm looking forward to being home and just being with people who know me and I know and just being with people at all! Unless I'm in classes or sitting doing homework at the coffee shop I'm not around people here and I'm a person who feeds off others around, even though I'm quiet I'm very social. So this has been a really hard couple of months for me and I'm just ready to be home. But I'm focusing on getting my presentations done this week, I can't lose sight of that A I want see at the end of this quarter!

The Amazing Race.

Ok I know I'm a dork for loving this show, but I think it's awesome! I love traveling with a passion and I love that all the challenges are different and require different talents! But one of the things I love the most about this show is that it's kinda my dad and mines show. We started watching it together way back when it started in high school! In college when I was home on weekends I'd stay until the Amazing Race over so I could watch it with dad. We always root for the same teams and we're like ch we could totally do that when there's a detour that's taking everyone forever to figure out. Its my dream to one day go with him on the show. I think we'd travel well together and we're both pretty level headed...although we both have a tendency to get frustrated easily...but overall I think we'd do well.  Maybe one day we'll try out.

p.s. this season I'm rooting for Brooke and Claire! they are so positive all the time and never whine or fight with each other and encourage other teams! I love when there's teams like that in the race!

two and half months...

until I turn 26. This birthday is freaking me out a little bit I'll admit. I feel like at 26 you're a grown up and I sure as hell don't feel grown up. What do I have to show for my life? Nothing. one and half degrees? go me. I guess I just feel like at 26 you should have your life figured out and know what you want to do with it and I don't. But I think with each passing birthday I'm learning that it's never what I think it'll be. I thought in high school for sure by age 24 I'd be married because thats so freaking old! HA! In college I thought by now I'd have my own design business and being traveling the world making beautiful buildings! HA! And now, on the cusp of turning 26, I've come to realize that I can't plan my life at all, it never happens how I think it will. And I've learned to be ok with that. I just take it as it comes. So here's to the last two months of being a 25 year old, you've been an ok year, not great, but not bad.

My Utmost, Nov. 1st

There is no such thing as a private life, or a place to hide in this world, for a man or woman who is intimately aware of and shares in the sufferings of Jesus Christ. God divides the private life of His saints and makes it a highway for the world on one hand and for Himself on the other. No human being can stand that unless he is identified with Jesus Christ. We are not sanctified for ourselves. We are called into intimacy with the gospel, and things happen that appear to have nothing to do with us. But God is getting us into fellowship with Himself. Let Him have His way. If you refuse, you will be of no value to God in His redemptive work in the world, but will be a hindrance and a stumbling block.

The first thing God does is get us grounded on strong reality and truth. He does this until our cares for ourselves individually have been brought into submission to His way for the purpose of His redemption. Why shouldn’t we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God’s purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say, “Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine.” If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?

Best weekend ever.

Oh you guys, this weekend was such a breathe of fresh air! I think I would literally be going crazy and pulling my hair out right now if it wasn't for this weekend! In case you forgot, my three bff's, Ashlee, Heather and Janelle came out here to visit me for a few days! It was just so nice to have people around me who know me and I know them and I can just chat with and talk about things like horrible roommates with! I've missed friends so much here! I was really starting to get depressed feeling like I wasn't going to make it through the next three weeks of school without going crazy! But having a weekend off with my besties was exactly what I needed to refresh me and to make me feel like I can go on and like three weeks is nothing! 

We had a great time exploring the city and browsing shops and dressing up for Halloween and just hanging out! I thank God so much for my friends, I don't think I'd be able to live without them!

one of our famous arm pictures

Little Edie, raccoon, flapper, and Edie Sedgwick

I had a raccoon tail, but you can't see it in the pictures...

At the beach. yep the beach. in November. 

Ah the perks of living a warm climate again.

Although this week is finally cooling down, like 

almost real fall weather and I think its amazing!

But thats my Seattle blood, I love cold weather!

Happy Tuesday!

Halloween!

I've always been a fan of Halloween, not because its creepy and scary but because I LOVE DRESSING UP!!!!! Yep I was that little girl with a dress up clothes chest and came up with a new character everyday so Halloween was like amazing because I could dress up even more! GAH!

My favorite costumes were a picnic table (complete with food) and a cheetah (mom made me a cheetah jumper and a cap with ears. It. was. awesome.). I never went trick or treating a ton though, we didn't live in a neighborhood, we lived out in the boonies, so we went to our "harvest festival" at school...I went to a Lutheran school. But as I got older friends and I would start meeting at their houses and go trick or treating in their neighborhoods. We trick or treated all through high school. I'm not kidding. I love candy and dressing up that much that I made my friends go every year! They liked though, don't let them tell you otherwise!

In college we didn't do a ton, our school would open all our dorms for the professors kids to come trick or treating through and that was pretty cute, but that was about all we did. Then I moved to LA. Halloween there is AMAZING!!!! We heard that Santa Monica Blvd was the place to be so were like ok we'll do that. We heard it was crazy, but didn't know that it was CRAZZZYYYYY!!!!! Seriously! insane. But so freaking awesome! All you really do it walk up and down SMB and see all the crazy and drunk people dressed up. But we had so much fun the two years we lived there!

The first year I was a bumble bee (by far my best homemade costume of all time), Heather was Hannah Montana and Ashlee was the Hulk!

That costume was so hot! It'd be perfect for cool weather Halloween, but not for a California Halloween! I had to take it off before we drove home, and by the way I had to have two people help me into and out of it. The first time I tried it on the girls were helping me out of it and we had the biggest giggle fit and couldn't get it off of me for awhile, I was stuck in my bee costume! 

Anyway last year our girls from Seattle came down to see the madness. Heather, Ashlee, Bethanie and I dressed up as the Jonas Brothers. Again, awesome. Jessie was Janice Joplin and the rest of the girls were roller derby chicks. We had a blast, it was great to share the craziness with our girls because its not something you can describe accurately! 

I wish I had pictures of Santa Monica Blvd, but the few we managed are too dark to see anything well. Just trust we it's crazy. If you're ever in LA for Halloween you have to go!!!

I can't wait for this Halloween, have I mentioned lately that my bff's are coming tomorrow? they are. It's gonna be so fun! I have no idea what its like here for Halloween, I've heard fun. So we shall see!

Hope you all have a good weekend! 

(Thursday are my Friday so that's why I'm a little early in saying happy weekend, just btw)

Happy Halloween!

Playing hooky

Sometimes in every school career you just need a day off. Today was that day. I've been feeling melancholy all weekend and just need a mental health day. I just knew I couldn't sit through two and half hours of class today. I think I'm really ready for this quarter to be done with and to be home for a while! But Thursday evening my bff's are coming for the weekend so I'm very much looking forward to that and to having people to talk to! But I'm missing my Seattle really bad, they're having the autumn storms this week that come this time of year and I'm stuck in gross 80 degree weather. But only about three more weeks! I can make it through this!

I miss fall color,

and real rain.

source

LIZA!

Have I told you I'm gonna be Liza Minelli for Halloween? I was in a vintage store looking for a present for someone and I saw THE MOST AMAZING Liza shirt ever! Think red sheer and feathers! Oh it's gonna be fantastic! The only thing I haven't figured out yet is my hair. I'm blond and haven't seen a wig that works and don't want to spray my hair black...hmmm...I may just be a blond Liza. We'll see.

source

just some days

There just some days when all this sustainability talk really gets me down, I literally cry about it! You can't talk or learn about sustainability without some doom and gloom, its just the nature of it. But there's just some days when it seriously hurts my heart! I ache for this planet and for the people of it and for the future generations to come! What have we done? And why? Didn't we notice what was happening to the environment and to the people and to society? How could we have missed it or overlooked it?

Can we really make the changes that we so desperately need to get our planet back to working order? Can our planet ever really sustain all the people on it? Does anyone really care? I mean do people care what's happening and what has already happened? Isn't it easier to just turn a blind eye to all the problems and not deal with them because we'll probably be gone from this planet before it's complete and total chaos anyway?

But then I remind myself that huge issues in the past have changed! The tobacco industries. Women's and African American rights. And those weren't easy fights. They took a long time. Sustainability or "green" or whatever you want to call it is going to be a hard fight and its going to take a while to change! And I believe we can do it! In fact I know we can do it! I wouldn't be fighting for this change if I didn't. God gave us one planet that sustains life for the people he created, and he left the care of it up to us, how can we not want to make it a better place than we "found" it?

I've grown to strong to ever fall back in your arms.

I know I can't take one more step towards you because all thats waiting is regret...
Who do you think you are running around leaving scars collecting your jar of hearts tearing love apart you're gonna catch a cold from all the ice in your soul...

where was this song when I needed it? haha!

cafe dreamin'

Heather and I started dreaming tonight of opening our own little cafe one day (I must graduate first, but that will be in August so not too far away)! I talked about how I want to open one a while ago and seriously I can't stop dreaming about it lately! I just think it'd be so fun! So I found some inspiring cafe pictures for us tonight. :)

Me and my big ideas...

As I was sitting in class today I was day dreaming (as usual) and I suddenly had this idea for my thesis project, which will be this summer. I would love to see if my home town in WA would be on board with the idea of me coming in as a sustainable facilitator to help create some new systems and come up with ideas to make the city more sustainable! I have no idea if this will even work, I'm going to contact city officials and see if they are even open to this idea and I'll think up some ideas to present just as a starting point. I just think this would such an awesome project to end this degree with because it'd be actually meaningful and make a difference! It'd also be hard and take a lot of perseverance to get people on board with it! But I think it has potential to be something that will work and make my home town a great model for others! We'll see. I'll keep you posted.

Silly East coast.

Why doesn't the East coast have mountains? What is wrong with them? I miss my mountains, even LA has mountains! (betcha didn't know that did ya?) 

Its so strange to live somewhere where you can't see...well...anything. In Washington you always have a view of mountains or of the water. Same with LA, we lived right in the foothills so always saw the pretty...ok brown (except in winter)...mountains. But anyway I'm sick of not having any pretty scenery to look at! I want my mountains! Stupid East coast.

source

And if you're an East Coast person don't try and tell me you have mountains, you don't. They are hills. They take less than 5 minutes to drive to the top! Seriously, until you've seen the West coast mountains you haven't seen mountains at all (well unless you've seen like the Himalayas or Andes or something but that's not the point)! Anyway, just another reason why West is best. End of story. Oh and guess what, only a month until I get to go home for winter break! wahoo!!!

Happy Monday!

What I Wore: blushing pink

I guess I have color themes happening this week!

I couldn't help myself when I realized how well my shoes and top matched!

Top: Target

Jeans: JCrew

Shoes: Linea Paolo

Necklace: JCrew

Missing LA.

I've been missing Los Angeles really bad the past couple of weeks! I'm not sure why, its just been on my mind lately. In about a month it'll have been a year since I moved away. It doesn't seem like it's been that long, and yet at the same time it seems like it was a lifetime ago.

My life there never stopped, it was a whirlwind of awesome Hollywood nights and work days in downtown and fun kid like days skipping all over Disneyland and sun soaked days on the beach.

I miss it a lot. I don't think anyone can truly appreciate LA until you lived there. There's so much there that you could never find or have time to visit on a vacation. If I ever lived there again I'd go back to the little town we lived in, Claremont. Or I'd want to be right in downtown, in one of the awesome art deco houses!

What I miss most at this moment is Pinkberry, the California beaches, Disneyland, Mani's cafe, The Grove, driving through downtown and seeing all the different types of people, Halloween on Santa Monica Blvd.,  and that gorgeous golden sun.

Disneyland

Love that skyline

Laguna Beach

LACMA

Hollywood (Grauman's Chinese Theater)

View from Griffith Observatory 

Halloween last year

The beach on Nov. 1

Disneyland in November

If you're ever in LA go here! Its so yummy! 

(just past Fairfax and Olympic)

Going home on the 10 freeway

sources: weheartit, myself and Ashlee

What I Wore: teal love

Shirt: Target

Jeans: Forever 21

Shoes: Nine West

Necklace: Forever 21

Getting into God's Stride.

This was yesterday's My Utmost For His Highest. wow. I love the last sentence.

The true test of a person’s spiritual life and character is not what he does in the extraordinary moments of life, but what he does during the ordinary times when there is nothing tremendous or exciting happening. A person’s worth is revealed in his attitude toward the ordinary things of life when he is not under the spotlight (seeJohn 1:35-37 and John 3:30). It is painful work to get in step with God and to keep pace with Him— it means getting your second wind spiritually. In learning to walk with God, there is always the difficulty of getting into His stride, but once we have done so, the only characteristic that exhibits itself is the very life of God Himself. The individual person is merged into a personal oneness with God, and God’s stride and His power alone are exhibited.

It is difficult to get into stride with God, because as soon as we start walking with Him we find that His pace has surpassed us before we have even taken three steps. He has different ways of doing things, and we have to be trained and disciplined in His ways. It was said of Jesus— “He will not fail nor be discouraged . . .” (Isaiah 42:4) because He never worked from His own individual standpoint, but always worked from the standpoint of His Father. And we must learn to do the same. Spiritual truth is learned through the atmosphere that surrounds us, not through intellectual reasoning. It is God’s Spirit that changes the atmosphere of our way of looking at things, and then things begin to be possible which before were impossible. Getting into God’s stride means nothing less than oneness with Him. It takes a long time to get there, but keep at it. Don’t give up because the pain is intense right now— get on with it, and before long you will find that you have a new vision and a new purpose.

What I Wore: Monday blues

This week is full of homework! I have a midterm project/presentation due next Monday. I was sick over the weekend so was feeling pretty sleepy and out of it and decided to just throw on an easy outfit. Its also gotten hot again here, its back to the high 80's so shorts are coming back out. I miss real Fall weather! (please excuse the messy room, I haven't had time to think about tidying up for awhile!)

Shirt: Men's Hanes v-neck

Shorts: JCrew

Shoes: Converse

Bracelet: by an artist in Whistler, BC (present from mom)