one week

one week and I'll be on the road driving to the other side of the country. I still can't quite believe I'm moving...to Georgia..GEORGIA! GEORGIA!!!!! Who moves to Georgia?? Its just so bizarre! But I'm excited. I just need get packed up, my least favorite thing in the world.

Hope your weekend is going well. Mine started out great with drinks and dessert for a friends birthday, then continuing the party this morning at brunch! But I had to say goodbye to my girls too which is sad. :( Anyway, off to start figuring out what I need to do to get my life to fit into my little car. Happy Saturday!

Ruche Fall look book!

I basically want every outfit in there! So gorgeous!

I'm home.

Its good to be home...in blond land that is. I went back to my normal blond today and I'm feeling SO much better about my hair. I also got the cut fixed just a tad, I no longer feel like a soccer mom circa 1997. phew! I'll put up pics soon!

Ok off to make pizza for dinner.

Happy Thursday!

Shampoo free..whhhaaaatttt???

So I just came across a question on Chemical Free Skinny today about going shampoo free. First I was like um gross. then I read the question and what they had to say. Apparently you can use baking soda to cleanse hair and use apple cider vinegar as a sort of conditioner! (lemon works as well because it too is acidic)

Who knew?!

So followed a link in the comments which brought me to here.

It seems like a pretty cool idea! I also followed some of the links that Simple Mom put at the bottom of her post and found a cool one that tells you how to do an herbal rinse for your hair!

here it is

So you basically make a tea from an herb that is good for you hair (rosemary and sage, chamomile, rose, mint etc...) strain it add a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar and pour it over your hair. Let it sit for a good few minute then rinse it out! I think I'll have to try this!

I'm intrigued about this going shampoo free and using baking soda and apple cider vinegar, but I'll have to think about it and do some more research on it. I want to make sure it won't dry my hair too much. But I suppose too I'll just have to try it sometime. I'll let you know what else I find out!

Happy Wednesday!

I'm starting to breathe again

So I know I said I was starting to like my new cut...but I'm not. I was just frustrated with it, and it didn't look like how I imagined and it just wasn't me. I was trying...am trying really hard to like it and be happy with it, but its slow going. My mother, bless her heart, is trying to help me make it through this hair identity crisis I'm going through so called another hair salon in town thats super cute and modern...but is a little bit pricey...for me so they can hopefully help me out.

I'm feeling so much better this afternoon, yesterday was horrible, this morning was bad, and now I can breathe again. The girl who is going to do my hair called this afternoon so my mom as telling her about my hair crisis and she was like oh we can totally fix it, no problem! phew. And their specialty there is color, and since thats the main thing I can change about this do thats what I'm focusing on. So I'm gonna go back to my comforting blond, I've been dark long enough, but I'm just a blond at heart. And I actually took the pink out already, I'm not a colored hair person, its just not my style. It was fun for a few weeks, and I have a tube of the stain so I can put some in again if I feel like it; but I just want to be myself and try to be something I'm not. Especially with moving to a new place where I don't know anyone I want to feel like me and feel good about me...which I'm having a hard time doing with this new cut. But I think changing the color will help a lot, and hopefully they can fix the shape of the cut a little to make me feel better about it.

I'll letcha know how it goes. I'm just feeling like such a dumb girl about all this! I've never had such a girl freak out hair identity crisis before! I'm usually pretty ok with how I look, so this whole thing has thrown me for a loop! But I'll get through it and over it, it is just hair after all.

Music Monday: Mumford and Sons

My friend Caitlin told me about Mumford and Sons this weekend, I already love them! Enjoy.

how my goals are coming along.

I thought before I move/make a huge life change in a couple weeks I'd check in on how my 25 goals for my 25th year are going! I have four and half-ish months left until my birthday (gross, 26...just gross...it sounds so freaking old!). So lets see what's left. 

1. Start an Etsy shop--check!
2. Make a painting
3. Fall in love with cooking again!!!!--check-ish? I tried really hard to like it!
4. Be inspired by school, not frustrated!--check!
5. Work out everyday
6. Wake up before 9 every morning--check-ish (hey I did online school, it didn't require a wake up time)
7. Go skiing at least once this winter
8. Go on a date!-check
9. Learn how to crochet a hat--check-ish (crocheted a huge bag and a dinosaur and a Curtis Stone doll)
10. Visit Ashlee and Heather in Idaho this spring!--check check!
11. Adopt a kitten!----CHECK!!!!!
12. Go on a trip--uh does Idaho the second time count? if not then I've been to Whistler twice so, check!
13. Design a real room (not just for school)
14. Smile at people everyday (I'm usually pretty good about this already)--check
15. Sew something awesome (a skirt or a dress)--check check check check
16. Buy a new car (ok maybe this should also be called my dream list...)
17. Buy a really really great pair of jeans!
18. Find another job in the design industry (even just part time)
19. Move back into Seattle
20. Dye my hair a CRAZY color (ok not like blue or purple, I don't think I could be that crazy)--Pink! BAM! check!
21. Do something I never thought I'd do (i.e. getting my tattoo last year)--check! Moving to freaking Georgia!
22. Start an interior design blog
23. Buy a pair of Louboutins (again dreams)
24. Become a better phone caller/talker
25. Keep my style I developed in LA (even if I stand out a bit in small town WA, who cares, I like to dress how I like to dress!)--check!

13 out of 25, not too bad with four months still left to go!! 

I got a hair cut!

So I took the plunge this week when I went back to get my pink redone. I went short! I finally found a few pics I loved, and I was ready for the change, so did it! At first I was like oh my Lord, I look like my mother, but now I'm really starting to dig it! I think I'll be able to rock this look for awhile! Plus its super easy to style! 

Hope you're all having a nice weekend! I had brunch at my place with the girls today, kinda a goodbye brunch except that I'll see most of them this next week as well. But it was nice to hang out for a bit! 

Happy Sunday

A dress for Miss Mabel.

Mabel is my next door baby neighbor. In other words our neighbors daughter. Her and I have become good friends since I moved home in December, my mom and I are her regular baby sitters. Whenever her mom needs a Mabel break I gladly take her for a bit! We have fun together, her new game (now that she's crawling) is to chase Sven the cat around the living room. 

Anyway, about a month or so ago I made a little skirt for Mabel with left over fabric from one of my skirts. And I finally had time this past week to sit down and sew a dress for her with more left over fabric. It turned out so cute, its a bit big, but thats fine because she'll grow fast so it'll fit in no time! 

I am really proud of myself with this dress because its the first time I've done pleats! And they are pretty darn good pleats! My mommy, the seamstress, showed me how. 

They were actually quite easy! 

Here's the finished dress! I love it! I want for myself! 

Here's my little Miss wearing it! How cute does she look in it! 

I found this dress tutorial on Rachel Denbow's blog, she's an awesome sewer! And this really wasn't a hard dress to make, I was surprised how easy! (and believe me I am so not a master sewer, I'm totally a beginner...who had a few lessons from mom back in the day)

Marcel the Shell with Shoes on.

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

Apple honey face mask.

My face needed some lovin' yesterday thanks to hormones making it go CRAZY this past week! oi vay. So went online to find a good acne mask that I could make at home. A lot of places gave a recipe for an apple honey mask, so I gave it a try! Apples are a great detox fruit so I'm thinking they probably do the same for your face, pull out the toxins! And honey is good for moisturizing dry skin! So here's what you need.

1 apple

4 tablespoons of honey

a grater

and a bowl to put it all in

So cut the apple in half, and grate half of it into the bowl. You can do what you like with the other half. I ate it. Then add in the honey and mix it all up.

It'll look something like this. I made a mess with this, I kept finding sticky spots all over the counter last night. So be warned. Ok so I was a dummy and tried to put this on while standing up, yeah that doesn't work. So when I took my bath I brought my little bowl of honey and apple gratings with me and slopped it on then. I just made sure to really get it on the areas of my face that need help. Then I sat really still and attempted to read for 15 min. Its going to fall off a bit, I ended up bathing with apple floating around me, haha! Also the honey drips all over so I ended up all sticky and had to keep washing off my neck and hairline, so I suggest take a shower after doing this mask! But my face felt all nice and supple afterward. 

Happy face masking, and happy wednesday!

The best weekend ever!

I had the bestest, most wonderfulest, funnest weekend ever!!! My parents and I were planning on going to Whistler in Canada this last weekend, a few months ago I had invited Ashlee and Heather but kinda figuring between work and the cost of plane tickets they probably wouldn't be able to come. They said they'd try but weren't sure if it'd work. So anyway I wasn't going to tag along with the parents by myself, but then last week I decided I might as well go, because if anything I could sit by the pool and read.

Well on Thursday night I asked my mom what she was doing the next day because I needed help with a sewing project and would she be around. I saw on her calendar that she had some appointment in Seattle in the morning and she was like oh yeah well I have to go to a meeting but I'll be back by noonish, but she was really vague about the details, which is unusual for her. So I was like ok whatever, I'll wait till the afternoon. So I got up that morning an did some editing and photoshop work for mom and then was starting to work on the baby dress I'm making, and I heard mom get back and she came upstairs and was showing me some new shorts she got and just as I was asking her what she was doing in Seattle (because I'm a nosey kid and like to know things) I heard people behind me so turned around and who was standing there but Ashlee and Heather!!! It took me a second to realize that it was them and they were here! I thought I wasn't going to see them for a few more months, when they visit me in Georgia! Needless to say I was super excited!!!

Luckily we were able to meet up with Janelle and Megan that night for dessert. We had an absolute blast, we were those annoying loud girls in the restaurant laughing too much and talking too loudly! But we didn't care, we were together and having fun! That evening I was like we should tell Janelle to blow off any plans and come with us! So anyway we were leaving the next morning for Whistler and as we were all sitting at breakfast who shows up but Janelle! The parents and the twins invited her along too!!!! Oh sillies.

I must say they did a good job of surprising me, I normally end up finding out about surprises somehow,  but these two were total secrets! Anyway, we had a blast in Whistler. We went up both mountains, did the Peak to Peak gondola (which was a little too much for me so I will probably not do it again, but I did it once so thats what matters) and lounged by the pool and went out on the town...er village...and just had a great girls weekend! None of us were ready for it to end and to see real life once again.

Whistler weekend

This is a video of the rest of my weekend! My parents and the twins were in on getting Janelle to come along to Whistler with us! So surprise to me again! haha! Oh and the end of the video is ode to The Hills, in case you don't get it...

Surprise video!

BEST SURPRISE OF MY LIFE!!!!

Just when I thought I was going to have to spend a long weekend in Whistler with just my parents my two bestest friends in the world, Ashlee and Heather, walked into my living room!!! They and the parents were all sneaky and surprised me with their visit this morning!!!!! WEEEEE!!! More to come on our Canadian adventures this weekend, stay tuned!

4 simple goals

Yesterday Elsie Flannigan came up with the idea to do a goal challenge and blog about it! The idea is to make 4 simple goals to accomplish before the year is out! I have my 25 goals I did for this year on my birthday, and I actually think I've crossed off quite a few so far! Some are ones that just aren't possible to accomplish because they are more a dream than reality (like buying a new car), so I thought doing this along with my 25 goals would be fun! Also these goals are ones that make your life better, whether for your health or happiness. It's not just about results, but about making you a better person! Ok so ready for my 4 simple goals for the rest of the year?

source

  1. Eliminate eggs and dairy from my diet.  I really really want to try and go vegan, I just feel like my body would really appreciate it! I know people think vegans are crazy, but who cares, I know my body and they don't. I want to be healthy and fell amazing all the time, I don't want to always feel like a 5 (on scale of 1-10) I want to feel like at least an 8 in my daily life! And just know going vegan will help me feel better! So the first step is avoiding eggs. Once I get that down I'll move onto dairy which will be much much harder but doable.

2. Do a craft project once a month. I know once school starts next month my life is going to be classes and homework non stop! But I really would love to create something at least once a month just for my own mental health! Focusing on school all the time is so wearing, and even though my degree is a creative one I still need an outlet to get my hands dirty and my creative juices flowing.

3. Organize my bedroom. In Georgia I'm doing on campus graduate housing, because its much much easier than trying to find my own apartment and moving all my furniture etc with me! So the only space I will have to myself is my bedroom (grad students are in 4 bedroom apartments). And thats where I'll be doing everything, especially homework and projects! I can tend to get rather messy in my bedroom, and weirdly keep the rest of my home pretty organized, so I really really want to try and keep my room organized this next year! It'll make working much easier and keep me feeling relaxed and not overwhelmed with stuff lying everywhere. I also tend to misplace things easily, so keeping an organized and happy room will help with that.


4. Stick to my budget. I will be on a super tight budget while in school due to some extra loans not going through, basically I can pay my bills or eat, at least my tuition and housing is completely covered, its just the living expenses etc. Luckily my parents are super amazing and are going to help me out. They didn't have the resources to help me a whole lot during undergrad due to my dad getting really sick for awhile, so I paid my way through undergrad (back when private loans were no problem to secure). But this time around, being that I am an adult and have life to pay for, and being that getting private loans is basically impossible anymore, I don't have much to fall back on. So I need to make a budget, figure out what bills are each month, what I can spend on groceries, and try and find a little bit of fun money in there if at all possible. But I really need to stick to this budget! I'm not much a financial planner and haven't really had to make a budget before, I just kinda knew what bills would cost and kept it in my account to be paid. But this year I am going to have to budget everything and give myself an allowance and STICK TO IT! No going over, no seeing the most gorgeous top ever and its ok to take some of next months money to buy it, NO! I don't need extra stress while in school, so will try my hardest to stay in my budget. 

Gluten free fad?

There has been so much talk lately about celebrities going on a gluten free diet. And while I think that's great and they are getting the knowledge out there about gluten free I have to say I really feel it downplays the severity of the medical diet many of us are on! I have no idea what celebrities actually have celiac and which don't, but from my understanding many are doing it to lose weight. I'm sorry but for most people on a gluten free diet its not about losing weighting its about being able to eat and live essentially.

Reporters keep talking about the gluten free diet being a fad, um yeah its not a fad in my life! I'm on the diet for life for my health! I'm just worried that when the next new Hollywood diet rolls in restaurants will blow off gluten free items and it won't be as easy to purchase things in stores. Also with many people thinking this is just a trend diet I'm worried about the attention paid when cooking gluten free, especially at restaurants! I, thank God, don't have much of a reaction when a restaurant kitchen doesn't have a designated gluten free area for cooking, but most celiacs do! They can't even eat fried things because the oil for frying is the same oil used to fry items with wheat!

So I guess what I just really want people to understand is that most people on a gluten free diet aren't trying to lose weight or to make things more difficult, most people on a gluten free diet are on it because thats the only way they can eat! If they were to eat any gluten at all it would literally be killing their body! So its not a diet to take lightly for most, its the only treatment we have for celiac disease.

Here's a video clip the Today Show did about gluten free diets.

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The List

I just finished reading The List by Marian Jordan (one of my favorite authors). The book is about learning that its not our expectations of out life that matter but it's God's plan for us that does! We have to learn to let go of our "list" for life and give it over to God and put our hope in him that we'll be ok regardless of what we have in life.

I have to say I've never had much of a "list" for my life, just kinda the normal, get married, find a job I love, have a family someday. But I didn't know how much I was holding on to those things until the past couple of years! In high school I thought for sure I'd get married by age 24, because at the young age of 17 and 18 that seemed SO OLD!!!! And I remember as that birthday was approaching and I saw tons of friends getting engaged I kinda had a freak out! But I've learned that what I think is the right time might not be in God's plan for me! And his timing is perfect! It always is! Also when I start to freak out about not having a boyfriend or being anywhere close to getting married I remember um duh I don't even want to be married now!!!! I have way too much to do with myself before I get tied down! silly me!

Also I thought right out of college I'd find the perfect job and make tons of money right away. HA! I worked for my mom's business for the year after college, then moved to LA with my friends and found what I thought would be THE JOB...yeah no...I hated it! HATED IT! But I know I learned a lot and gained a lot of confidence from that job, and that's what matters! My perfect job is still in the works because I'm still in works! God has me doing school now so I can have my job someday!

And I've also learned that just because you "have it all" doesn't mean you're going to be happy! If I were to be married, I'd just be married, I wouldn't instantly be happy all the time! The only way you'll be at peace in life and have happiness is if you live by Jesus' example and put your hope in him!

This book was a great reminder that my list doesn't matter! It's God's list that does! And that doesn't mean I give up my desires, but I don't hope in them, I hope in God that those things will happen and they will happen with his perfect timing!

Music Monday: Sondre Lerche

Why I'm not a chef.

As I'm sitting watching Food Network I often think why didn't I go to cooking school?? Food is kinda my life because of all my restrictions! But then I think, um duh because, although its my life, I hate food! I know that's weird, but I just get tired of it, and I get tired of thinking of what to make for dinner, and oh don't even get me started on lunch! I HATE lunch! I'm not a sandwich person and who wants to cook in the middle of the day? so I never know what to eat.

I do however rather enjoy breakfast...I've always been a pancake freak. My parents like to retell of the days of old when I would sneak into their room on Saturday mornings at 6 am(...SIX AM!...I can't even wake by at 8 anymore....) and head to my dads side of the bed and whisper "dad, dad, dad (until he was awake), dad, I want pancakes." Then he'd tell me to go watch cartoons until he was up, so I'd trot out to the living room and turn on Captain Planet (hmm maybe that's what inspired my love of sustainability) and eventually he'd make his way out of the bedroom to make me pancakes! Anyway I digress.

I am incredibly interested in nutrition though. Since being diagnosed with celiac sprue almost 9 years ago I have had to pay attention to nutrition to make sure I was eating the right thing and not making myself sick. I'm a label reader by habit now, I pick up a package of food and the first thing I do is turn it round to check the ingredients. In the past year since food became my enemy and was making me super sick I've become even more interested in nutrition and have read like 50 books just since June about food. Its taken me a long time to become friends with food again, just this summer in fact I've been able to eat and not feel sick. Going vegetarian has been like THE BEST decision I've ever made! I've never felt so good stomach wise, and I can think again and I feel lighter and happier! Its amazing!

The past few weeks I've been reading a lot about Macrobiotic diets. And while I totally get it and understand them its just too intense for me right now. Although one thing I did take away from learning about that diet is the importance of eating more whole grains! So I've really been trying to eat more grains everyday, and not just in bread form, but like real whole grains. I also try to balance it out with lots of fruits and veggies, I have a fruit smoothie every morning and I love it! I need to be better about getting more veggies in my diet though.

Well anyway, I don't even know where I was going with this. I guess I was just thinking about how I've often thought it'd be fun to be a chef, but I think no, I'd hate it. Food and I have had a roller coaster relationship I never know when I'll love it or hate it or when IT will love me or hate me. We've travelled a long road together. And just the past two months I've finally felt like food is loving me back for the first time since I figured out my gluten intolerance. The thought of eating doesn't make my stomach turn anymore like it did just this winter. I don't feel sick after every meal anymore, and I can't even tell you how amazing that is! I'm finally eating to make me feel healthy and whole, not just eating to survive.

So I suppose in conclusion as to why I didn't become chef, food is more about nutrition to me than it is about fun and love. I don't remember life by food like many people do, I don't travel for the food like many do, and while I have dishes I like to eat I don't live my life around food in that way. So while my life revolves around food, its not because I like to have fun with it and taste new things, its because I have to eat to make myself healthy and feel like a real person. Perhaps one day soon, now that I've found a diet that works for me, I'll be able to really enjoy food again. But for now its all about the nutrition and health.

My new baby girl

So this weekend a new kitty showed up at our door step. I'm pretty sure the neighborhood cats direct all stray and lost kitties to our house. Mom and I gladly accept all and offer food and water. Some go on their way, others stick around, like Black Bart our now outside kitty who found mom while I was living in LA. The new kitty who appeared this weekend is a super sweet little girl who we can tell had a home at one point in her life. So we've put up some flyers that we found her and told the local vet and dog groomers in case people go looking there, but so far no one's called about her. Mom and I decided, much to father's chagrin, that we are keeping her (ok so mom's keeping her since I move out soon)! Since Birdie dog passed away the house has felt horribly empty, but we weren't quite ready to go looking at a new kitten yet; so when Stella showed up (thats what I named her) we just knew she was ours! 

isn't she adorable?! I love her!

I told the parents that if I was going to an apartment in Georgia where I could have kitties I would steal her and drive her across country with me...but I'm not...so I can't. 

She's just a little love and follows me around the house all day and talks to us non stop! She's a bit miffed she can't go outside right now, but we don't want her to get lost again. Although this morning she did sneak out and so we let her stay out all afternoon but she stuck close by; so thats good. 

I mean seriously how cute is her little face? gah!

Mr. Tibby cat is doing very well with her, at first he was like um guys whats going on? Then he was like whatevs and went back to sleep. The first day though he wouldn't let Stella out of his sight, it was pretty funny. Miss Sven cat on the other hand....oh boy. I'm actually surprised I'm still alive right now, I thought for sure Sven was going to murder both mom and I in our sleep the first night. She saw mom bring Stella inside and was all oh hell no. So she's been looking disgruntled for the past two days and walks around the house like a mini panther in kill mode. But she doesn't actually do anything, she just likes to be pissy....which really isn't anything new, we're used to bad cat attitude and her accusing glances. 

So that's my new kitty! I'm sad I have to leave her in a month and wish I could just take her with, but no such luck. 

oh, p.s. I got my hair done today, its awesome!!! I'll make mother the photographer take pics tomorrow for me so I can share!

night night. Hope your Thursday treats you well!

the pixie

So this past week I've been trying to decide what to do with my hair when I go to the stylist tomorrow. I am totally in love with the pixie cuts that have been showing up lately! They are so cute and fun yet classy and timeless! I absolutely love Jessica Stroup's new crop!

I'm a big fan of short hair, for me my hair is long, like super long hair, is when I get to my shoulders! ha! I know, thats wayyyy too short for most girls, but what can I say, I like it short and manageable, non fussy. I'm so not one of those girls who gets attached to her hair, I'm usually like chop it off, change the color, bangs, no bangs, lets bleach it! I cut my own bangs on a regular basis for goodness sake! 

But I can't quite make myself go that short right now! Part of my problem is that I was almost this short all through high school and into my freshman year of college; and when I look back at pics I'm like what was I thinking with that do! oi vay. BUT this is completely different look than what I was rockin' back in the early 2000's. So, perhaps this winter, when I'm home on Christmas break, I'll be brave and just do it! But for now I'm sticking with a short bob; probably something like this:

 

Apparently she is my new hair idol! haha!

Anyway here are super cut pixie cuts to inspire me (and you) in the meantime! 

source

One month left

I have a month left in Washington and living at the parents house. I couldn't be more excited that my time here is coming to an end. Not that its been horrible or anything, but lets face it, what 25 year old wants to move back in with the parents for 9 months? Not this one. But I knew it was the right thing as I look back, I had to listen to God when he said leave Los Angeles, that it wasn't for me anymore. My time there was over and it was time to go home.

I had to listen when God told me to just wait once I got here, and that I was exactly where I needed to be. Every night when I would pray to him thats just what I heard, Jenny, you are exactly where you need to be. Ok God, I get it. So I went about my business, fell into routine with mom and dad, did my classes online. But it hasn't been an easy nine months. I lost a lot of friends this year, I think that we grew apart, its sad though, especially when you've known each other since grade school. I had other friends but they were busy and live far away so its hard to see them often. I've had many lonely times while living here and often have felt trapped, but I listened to God and I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. That there is greater plan for me that I have no idea of knowing until he reveals it to me.

In February I started my Spring semester of school and was actually pretty excited about my classes this time, they were something new, not repeats from undergrad. Well little did I know that God put me in one of those classes to reveal the calling for my life and career. That class was Sustainable Design for interiors. I've never before felt passionate about interior design, I just knew that for some reason it was the academic and career path I needed to take. And finally with this class I found where I fit in the crazy world of interior design and architecture!

I think I must have talked non stop about this class because my parents saw my new passion. And finally in April they said maybe you should look into changing master's program and go for one in sustainable design. But I was like I can't just up and drop out of this one and change, do you know how hard I've fought for school for the past three years! I finally got into a master's program after going through three years of people telling me I'd better give up and just find a job and I'd learn what I need to in a job anyway. I went through three years of rejection letters. I went through three years of fighting to be seen as a potential somebody by schools with no luck. And finally, finally my perseverance paid off. If I left would that be admitting failure? Would I be telling everyone who told me I couldn't do it that they were right? Will I look flighty to everyone. I realized no, I didn't have to drop out of my program just to look at others, if it didn't work out I'd stick out the one I was in, if it did work out then awesome! And besides, who cares what others think of me, I know where I'm heading and so does God. So I started researching programs and schools. I applied to a school and got in, dropped out of my other school and am now moving to Georgia for a year. Had I not moved home I would not have had my parents there pushing me to make the change. God sent me home for this, I know he did.

He also sent me home to rest, I got rather sick with another auto immune disorder a year ago that just really took all my energy away, I literally felt like I was wasting away all through last Summer and Fall. But I luckily found amazing doctor here and have since been on medication that will hopefully keep this disorder in remission forever. So I was home to rest my body after all it went through. I needed time to recover and to let my parents be parents and to love me and keep me in their covering while I renewed my strength.

I think I've also had these 9 months as a test of my faith in God. He has used this time to teach me about myself and my strength and to teach me how to hope in him and not worldly things. Nothing I do could happen without him! He also used this time as time to reflect my past, especially my time in Los Angeles. To learn from my mistakes, to see where he has taken me, to see how much I've grown and changed.

So I have one month left before I'm once again thrown into the world on my own. But I'm not afraid, I know where my strength lies, in Jesus. I know I can do anything with him by my side. I may fail, but I've been there so I pick myself up and move on. I will change and I will grow and my faith will become stronger through all this. There will be times that are amazing, and there will be dark times. There will be challenges to overcome. But I know I'll be fine. Hell, I lived in LA, one of the hardest cities to make it in, well I made it there so I can make it anywhere.

I think this last month will be the hardest yet of these past 9. I'm chomping at the bit to just leave and get out of here and not look back. And yet I'm hesitant to leave the comfort of home and my parents who take care of me when I need it. So I tell myself, they're still my parents no matter where I am, and I have God on my side too. And to just getting out of here I tell myself to enjoy the time left here, because it will never happen again.

I have this last month here to once again pack up my life and go where God is pointing me. Who knows what will happen when I'm done with my degree in June, but I know if I trust God and follow him I'll be exactly where I need to be.