I wonder sometimes when somewhere will truly feel like home again. Oh places I live feel like a home, and are special to me. But no where has the true home feeling like it used it. No where feels like I can collect tons of stuff and leave it there. I'm like a nomad, I travel light and keep it easy to pack up for when the next time to move comes. I miss having a true home. I hope soon I will have one again, it'd be nice to be able to truly unpack for the first time in six years. It'd be nice to be able to paint a wall the color I want that wall, instead of tan. It'd be nice to actually have a place to put everything and not to be living out of plastic bins cheap furniture. But who knows when that will ever happen. And yes I call my parents house home, but in truth that was never my true home. When they moved from our old house thats when my "home" stopped being "home." The new house was for the two of them and when my brother and I needed somewhere to be of course it was for us, but really it's my parents house, not the entire family's. And my home in California while it is home for now and I love when I come back from visiting somewhere to feel so happy to be home, it still isn't that same feeling. Does anywhere ever have that feeling "home" that the house you grew up in did? Maybe after you're married and have kids it does. Maybe I'll find out one day. For now I'll just be a nomad, never quite knowing where I'll go next and happy to be where I am for now.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
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1 comments:
Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman: You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.
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